Tuesday, August 31, 2010

White and Nerdy

I am white, like blindingly so even. I admit, I like some rap. Mainly just whatever’s popular on the radio, Eminem and Tech N9ne. The reactions I get to this are hilarious.

The first experience, was one time me and a friend were driving around with the windows down, I think we were listening to like Nelly or something. Some kind of rap anyway. I pulled up to a stop light. I was the first person in line. The person in the other lane wouldn’t pull up next to us. They were probably about even with my trunk. Cause ya know, two white girls listening to rap are scary business yo.

Another time, I was driving around, windows down, listening to rap again. I drove by this family that was having like a little kids birthday party or something. The dad ran to the end of the drive, all puffed up, like I was going to do a drive by.
Most recently, I was about to pull out of a parking lot. I had the window down and was messing with my iPod cause it was being dumb. So I finally got it to play right, I had on Tech N9ne. There was a black man by a van next to me. When I backed out, he gave me this look like what the hell are you doing listening to Tech?!? It was great.

One time,  in college, I was at a bar. I saw this guy that I went to high school with, but didn’t know. I think I said something to him about going to high school with him. Then my friends and I started dancing. I put my purse down on the floor. After a while, I noticed my purse wasn’t where I left it. That guy was sitting right near where it should have been, so I asked him where it was. This of course meant, “hey you’re black, you must have taken my purse.” Dude. I don’t care what color you are, I just need to know where my monies and stuff are. I found my purse, it must have gotten kicked and wasn’t too far from where I left it.

One time a couple years ago, I went out with, let’s call them Samantha and Steve. We went to this bar. At this bar we met a former NFL player. I had/have no idea who this guy is. Not anyone I’d ever heard of, though I don’t really pay much attention to pro sports. So anyway, we hang out with this NFL star. The bar we were at closed at 2, but bars just across the border closed at 3, so went across the border to continue drinking, Mr NFL came with us. At this other bar, Mr NFL was looking at this girl’s ass. Samantha said something about why he was or something. I said cause she has a big ass, black guys like big butts. This offended Mr NFL, coming from a white girl. So he said something all offended like, what’s that supposed to mean or something. I said my boyfriend is black. Then all the sudden, Mr NFL is all, ah yea home girl knows what it’s all about.

1 comment:

  1. I live in the south. Deep south. My husband from OKC is from OKC and went to an all black HS. So living in the deep south we sometimes get confused when we get hit with the "what you talking about" attitude. I like just about all music and am equally offensive to all people. But I distinctly remember in college a group of girls talking about "systems" and I chirped in, they said something off the cuff like, "what do you know white girl, " I looked at them and said, "whose the white girl? not me yall" "I'm speckled " They just fell out laughing, because there's no good "stereotype" to put big butt, loud mouth freckled chicks in. But our family culture is so diverse it's hard for us when we get confronted. My husband is Cherokee and Choctaw registered Indian from an All Black HS, I was born and my early years were spent in Thailand with Thai caretakers so my first influence was Thai culture. My father from the deep south, my mother from upper Michigan, one set of my Grandparents were scottish immigrants and the other spanish immigrants. My nephew is black. My first serious boy friend was full blooded Italian and my 2 dearest friends are German and Korean, and I live in what can only be described as poodunk redneck Green Acres. With a large Vietnamese Community near by. So one thing I found out in all these long lovely years on this crazy big blue marble. My youngest said it best the day he came home from Kindergarten and said, " I have the BEST class EVER !" when I said why? he said, everyone is so nice but there's only speckled one like you mom she's a little girl, everyone else is pink and brown. I realized my kid, in the deep south, didn't know the terms, black and white, he saw friends, and speckles. Even here in redneck land.